Are you dreading the holiday season this year? Feeling overwhelmed? Underwhelmed? Stretched? Under appreciated?
Luckily we don't celebrate Christmas, but we do give my family gifts at this time of year.
For a couple years now I have tried to make the occasion handmade. I think there is something quite lovely about handmade gifts - something made for only you in mind - the time it takes to make, the love that that expresses and usually the quality of the materials used all surpass gifts mass produced in slave conditions, packaged in materials damaging to the earth, shipped halfway around the world to be added to a pile of other such gifts.
But it is odd that in this society that so far gone are our priorities that we consider 'handmade' by those close to us inferior to crap produced in the billions in China. We consider something handmade only well done if it replicates something made in a factory. Once upon a time factories would strive to make things look (and taste) home made, now the opposite is true!
And it has also been pointed out that the excess of this time of year really is the antithesis to the whole occasion! People get themselves into a lather about having the 'perfect' christmas by building up to one day full of expectation - the perfect food, the perfect drinks, the many many perfect presents (because more is better isn't it?!). People spend too much, eat too much, drink too much - and it doesn't seem to make anyone happy.
Those of us with children, whatever time of year we celebrate our 'thing', would do well to remember than simplicity really is the best way to go. For children (and I suspect many adults) memories cannot be bought with mountains of plastic, they are made with time, effort and love. And instead of commercialisation ruining our lives, our planet and our memories now it might be a good time to take a step back and get our priorities straight. I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on gift-giving time, and maybe if anyone else has any tips on keeping this season truly merry then chip in at the end...
1. Quality outranks quantity: one good quality gift made with good quality materials is better than a million pieces of plastic crap. This is especially true with toys. How many toys have you seen consigned to a charity shop after only a few weeks of play? How much of it had to be binned because it was broken all too soon? Try finding durable toys made out of wood. Not only are they more beautiful but you will be surprised at how long they last! Many will become heirloom toys to be enjoyed by your little one's children!
2. Less is more. Have you ever gone into an untidy room and just felt frazzled and grumpy and ratty? No? Just me then? It's brain frazzle; we have been taught that to accumulate is to prosper, but in terms of psychological well-being the opposite is actually true - the less we have the better our mood. The same goes for children. Surround them with a myriad of toys and they will be frazzled and play with nothing. Give them one or two quality items and they will focus and play. Less is more in regards to the type of toy as well - toys with all the whistles and bells may look good, but they leave no room for the active ingredient of imagination. Something that bleeps and flashes and sings twenty songs may look the business but it excludes the child to role of chief button-pusher. An open ended toy (blocks for example) draws the child in and demands his attention and imagination. Less is more. Ditch the battery for free-range imagination.
3. Keep it simple. Instill in your children an appreciation for the gift-giver rather than the gift by keeping it simple. Handmade gifts will help in this respect because the gift will have love woven in with it. Encourage your children to MAKE gifts for each other too. The message should be the love and care of the gift-giver, and not what the actual gift IS.
4. Keep it mellow. Don't set your eyes on the target of one perfect day, but enjoy the path instead. Create holiday traditions building up to your day; include your children; draw them in, build up the excitement slowly and calmly. Holiday traditions really are fun when everyone helps build them together.
5. We can give nothing better to another than ourselves. That means our time. How many times have you said to your children 'I can't - I haven't got time'? That's the biggest lie. Time is all we have. Our life IS time. When we say we haven't got time, what we are really saying is 'I haven't got time for YOU'. We prioritise our time constantly and we make time for things we consider important. Our subconscious understands this nuance and it cannot be glossed over by present-buying or money. Spend time with your family - make the effort in the holidays to play games, sit on the floor and play dolls or trucks, get the board games out, read books til your brain oozes out of your earholes. These days are short and will never return. Give yourself to your family.
6. Focus on making the holiday authentic and meaningful.
Finally, as gift-receivers if someone DOES give you something handmade do appreciate the time, effort and cost involved. Handmade is NOT the cheap option by any stretch of the imagination. It actually costs more money to make than to buy - if someone gives you handmade they really love you.
A good link to help us all focus on what it's all about: An Authentic Christmas, by Rhythm of the Home.
Keep it mellow, people.
x
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